the truth.

those words are the truth.... that's what i really felt

die

I WANT TO BE DEAD.

I WANNA DIE

DIE

DIE

DIE

to the girls who used to be my friend. and to the boy that i love more than this world & who used to be my best friend 

26 nov

GUESS WHUUUDDD???
my birthday is awesome SUPPA DUPPA AWESOME!. Tons of FUN yes F-U-N!!!!! all ma boys come and the gurls abhyani and selma amazing. best birthday eva!. you know whud missing is? AISYAH SHEILA AND THALYA :( :( miss'em so much. yeay yeay yeay thats all

-xoxo

bitch

EW EW EW EW DISLIKE YOU, I WANT TO CUT YOUR FUCKIN TONGUE. HAHAH GO TO HELL GURRLLL. I'VE THIS MIDDLE FINGER FOR YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLIVER SCOTT SYKES. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! STAY METAL DUDE \m/

so cool, remind me of ... ibam and me. 

Wounded - Good Charlotte.

sumpah lagu ini nyesek banget. so, ini liriknya ... enjoy!

Lost and broken 

Hopeless and lonely 

Smiling on the outside 

Hurt beneath my skin 

My eyes are fading 

My soul is bleeding 

I'll try to make it seem okay 

But my faith is wearing thin 

So help me heal these wounds 

They've been open for way too long 

Help me fill this soul 

Even though this is not your fault 

That I'm open 

And I'm bleeding 

All over your brand new rug 

And I need someone to help me sew them up 

I only wanted a magazine 

I only wanted a movie screen 

I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed 

And now my mind is an open book 

And now my heart is an open wound 

And now my life is an open soul for all to see 

But help me heal these wounds 

They've been open for way too long 

Help me fill this soul 

Even though this is not your fault 

That I'm open 

And I'm bleeding 

All over your brand new rug 

And I need someone to help me

So you come along 

I push you away 

Then kick and scream for you to stay 

'cause I need someone to help me 

Oh I need someone to help me

To help me heal these wounds 

They've been open for way too long 

Help me fill this soul 

Even though this is not your fault 

That I'm open 

And I'm bleeding 

All over your brand new rug 

And I need someone to help me sew them 

I need someone to help me fill them 

I need someone to help me close them up.

let changed she into i'm


just because i'm comes off strong, doesn't mean i didn't fall asleep crying.
and even though i acts like nothings wrong, maybe i'm just really good at lying. 

Friday 22 October 2010

so, jadi gini kemaren abis pulang sekolah rencana nya meet up sama harry dkk. nah jam 6 aan kan, yaudah gue dateng pas nyampe ada adnan, darryl and harry tuh. yaudah kita jalan bentar sambil nunggu yang lain, nah abis itu si adnan kan mau balik nonton soalnya dia sama temen nya juga. yaudah adnan nonton, jadi tinggal gue sama darryl and harry. terus kita jalan si harry mau beli apa gt, yaudah kita temenin. trus beberapa menit kemudian, si selma dateng. terus kita ber4 terus misah bentar kan sama harry darryl, gue sama selma ke body shop trus kita xxi, nah di xxi harry bbm nanya kita dimana trus ada adnan dia kan baru selese nonton. trus ada harry dateng nah abis itu kita kebawah, adnan udh pergi lg sm temen temen nya. kita ber4 akhirnya nemenin harry makan drpd ga jelas, nah pas harry makan. yang lain baru pada dateng si angga, arya,mario and satya. berhubung itu udh jam 19.00 lebih jd kita harus beli ticket dong, yaudah gue satya sama selma beli ticket deh. pas di xxi ............guess gue ketemu siapa IBAM, fat, adenya ibam and dio zorg. gue langsung 0_0 btw ibam gantenggggggg banget, pake kemeja trus pake kardigan ungunya trus trus pake celana pendek jeans :3 :3 so handsomeeee. trus trus selma ngomong sm mereka satya beli ticket, of course gue gatahan di situ bawaan nya pengen nangis yaudah gue ngabur coba balik ke harry dkk. trus harry nyuruh gue di situ nah yaudah gue disitu diem aja kayak org oon gitu berdiri. trus abis itu si harry tau kayakny ngomong deh sama ibam but i forgot. trus trus udh kan beli ticket yaudah pd ngobrol bentar trus masuk, awalnya ibam ga ikut nonton. eh udh masuk ke dlm bioskop, gue selma saty pd mau beli popcorn dan minuman yaudah keluar taunya ibam lagi beli ticket ternyata dia juga nonton. pas kita udh masuk lagi ibam kan masih di luar, terus yaudah duduk beberapa menit kemudia ibam masuk trus satya nanya dia duduk dimana terus ibam bilang di belakang kita unyuuuuuuuuuuu 0_0 btw the film sort of scary but sort ofseru hahaha. either way blablablabla males ceritanya lagi

zebracross

gue engga ngerti kenapa yang nama nya cinta itu terkadang manis dan terkadang pait, tapi selama gue sama ibam jarang banget pait nya, sepait - paitnya pun gue masih bisa enjoy sama dia dan juga gue merasa nyaman dan seneng sama dia, anyway intinya gue capek sama yang nama nya sekitar gue sama lingkungan nya dan sejujurnya gue lingkungan gue bener bener ga ada bagus bagusnya. penuh dengan bullshit, lies and disappointment dan juga backstabbing backstabbingers intinya ya ga ada bagus bagusnya ya isinya drama semua.

capek engga sih? capek banget. jujur ga ada orang yang bisa ngertiin gue ga ada yang bisa gue bener bener percaya, sayang nya orang yang bener bener gue percayaiin gue malah nyakitin dia dan sekarang dia engga percaya .......... yes you mr.ibam. ya, emang keliatan nya gue nge mentingin ibam drpada yang lain, karena emang gue bener bener sayang sama ibam dan  juga gue engga mau tiap hari fighting buat kayak gini dan jujur ini capek ini kayak never ending battle, dan ini bener bener damage pertemanan gue sama ibam. jujur gue kangen cerita dan kangen ngobrol ngobrol sama ibam kangen jalan sama ibam.  dia sahabat yang amazing dan bener bener truly one hell of a person.

jujur ibam jauh lebih baik dari setengah orang yang gue kenal selama ini, ibam bener bener beda sama orang lain, gue ga tau apa yang buat dia beda tapi gue tau dia baik banget orang nya bener bener bisa ngertiin gue, gue kangen dapet perhatian dia dan di sapa ngobrol dan juga cara nya dia ngertiin gue. gue tau udah nyakitin dia parah parahan, tapi jujur sejujurnya gue pengen kita temenan kayak dulu.

my moto \m/

when all you got to keep is strong 

Move along, move along like I know you do 

And even when your hope is gone 

Move along, move along just to make it through  

When everything is wrong, we move along 

Along, along, along 

- Move Along by All American Rejects 

i need to start to be myself

Cause I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down

It's here and now, I'm breaking out

I will learn to love again

But I will stand a broken man

- Broken Man by Boys Like Girls 

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way

-Beautiful by Christina Aguilera 

my dream wedding

another  option dress

invitation 1 

diamond ring, and two types of this but the other one with purple diamond or birth stone 

decoration 

dress 

decoration 1 

decoration 2 

invitation 2

wedding cake 2 

peacock inspired invitation 3

lily's bouquets 

my dream wedding, though its still far far far far away not near future but definitely i know what i want.  outdoorsy between garden or beach. lily's purple and white and blue and pink :3 :3

Feeling

If you ask what i'm feeling now i would surely answer this:

1. Unhappy 

2. Overwhelmed 

3. Unsure of my self 

4. Low esteem

5. Numb 

6. Unable to smile without hurting my heart 

7. suddenly feeling laughing hard and next thing crying hard

8. faking everything 

i need a answer

In my opinion, i think me and ibam was in love with each other we do care about each other but.... just being in love not enough to keep us together. but now everything changes... i do madly deeply in love with him i swear i do. but it wasn't enough for us or him just being in love with each other, we need to more to survive but we wasn't trying enough to make it work. Since everything was a messed i don't really know what to do, it's like every thing falls apart and i don't want to be a part of anything, i want to be numb. i'm trying not to care but it hard, lately i've been bad mood feels like wanna killing someone and i put my badmood on my friends i dont know why. but it feels that way. all in my head is full of question what if who why blabla yes many questioned and un answered. i need a answer.

Introducing another broken heart

i have this story it's inspire from one of my friend, she was standing at the corner waiting for her friend ... and suddenly all the sudden she saw somebody familiar pass and it was her ex boyfriend.So, the Mr.Ex is not in the same school anymore but he used to go to that school. she's break down and cry, i look at her and ask what happened, she's explain that she saw mr.ex she's cry... i couldn't help to not feel sad for her, because i know exactly how that feel, seeing your ex without not being able to talk or say hello yeah it hurts. she was seeing mr. ex outta no where and she's break down, and when we sit down and talk she's told me, how about me that seeing ibam everyday and she's only seeing mr.ex once at that time while i was seeing ibam like everyday. you know what it feels seeing ibam everyday? it feels like watching a videos that cannot be stop, all i can do is remembering every thing that im used to do with him, and remembering how hurt when he's leaving me and also you know what hurts the most is? i'm not being able talking, chatting, laughing, saying hello to ibam again. there are bond that being named as a awkward bond. i know why she started to cry when seeing mr.ex because i can related to that feelings yes believe me i can. it's like everyday of my daily life .. i'm doing that. Btw, this story is a real stories inspire from my beautiful girl, keep strong girl! :) 

BreakUp Quotes

"swore to myself it wouldn't happen again. I vowed to myself that this was the end. The end of this longing, this yearning so strong... I said I was over you, but oh I was so wrong." 


"A great love? It's when you shed tears for him but still you care for him. It's when he ignored you but you still long for him. It's when he starts loving another, and yet you manage a smile and find the courage to say "I'm happy for you."


"Look in my eyes and you will find me, but look in my heart and you will find you." 


"Missing you isn't the hard part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart."

somes of breakup quotes that i found in the internet 

Storm

i wish i wish i wish for this to happened between us......i guess it never will happened huh? 

katy perry

she looks adorable in this pic, loveee the hair 

hm

something wrong with this picture ... remind me of how i'm used to cry in your hug and you let me cry. remember satya's problem? video day grade 9? before shooting the katakan cinta ke 3? and during the scene which tqy and afi pretend fighting at thaecanteen? yeah i remember  

fshn

aa purple heels <3 

<3 

i looovee the skirt 

cool dress 

skirtttt so damn cute 

mygod totally in love with this jacket!

skirtttt 

the animal print cardigan <3<3 

Smile - Glee Version

Smile tho' your heart is aching,

Smile Even though it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,

If you Smile through your pain and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,

Altho' a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time (thats the time) you must keep on trying,

Smile- What's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

Ohhh Oooh  Yeah

That's the time (thats the time) you must keep on trying,

Smile- What's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

Smile tho' your heart is aching,

Smile Even though it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,

That's the time (thats the time) you must keep on trying,

Smile- What's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SATYA PRAWIRA - 30 sept 2010.

Jealousy

why jealousy has to so effin hard to ignore? i don't know why, i'm always jealous with this girl yep she's perfect, she's beautiful she's nice. yes the complete package unlike me, half package wait i'm not even half-_- half er *maksa. she is one of my close friend..... but i'm so effin jealous because she's one of ibm bestfriend. ibm when with her ... so very very cute its like completely difference from the way he act with me. the way he act with her unyuuuuuuuuuu *completely make me jealous. and with me? completely ass.

>:0

i have this new perspective " i don't care about people interpretation about me" 
yep, i dont care anymore piece of shit. especially that girl mygod i hate you sooooo much! die die die, i know you body is larger and bigger than mine but please have a little respect, beside your words is so nasty. and please back off, and beside it's none of you business dude. AAAA YOU RUIN MY MOOD!

replace

i hate the feeling of being replace by somebody its like yesterday i was the shining new toys and now ... piece of shit. yes, tonight is what i feel. it's officially theres some girl win ibam heart unfortunately it's not me. i admit i was numb to think everything going to back to the way it used to be...... and i was sooooo stupid to think that way. seriously i want to cry so bad, its like the menahan air mata super duper hurts. because i don't want to look like a chicken who always cry then again i never did care what other people say about me. don't care, screw you people :) either way ..... i don't know what else to think. its officially the end. tomorrow exam and i cant  think any of the things that i should study. i can't get him outta my mind like for real. i know i'm being a selfish bitch right now... but i hate the feeling of being replace. i remember he used to tell me everything when something wrong and now he don't even notice me. it's like i'm ghost to him....ohyeah i forgot i means nothing to me. don't you think it's a bullshit if i say that i already move on? .....yeah completely bullshit. wanna cry so badddd:""""""""""""""(

realize

My Dear Alligator,

i've just realize something from a song.... well it's about Ibam like of course. but ...  i was realize i was the one who getting in his way, i'm nothing to him. i'm just somebody who messing with him. i wasn't expect anything from this song.. but well i'm realize. i'm done with you, even though i love you so much its better to leave you alone.

i know this thing happen because of me. yep this is my mistake and there's nothing else i can do. it hurt so bad letting you go, but if you're happy then i'm happy. it's okay bam, you didn't do anything wrong my dear, you were perfectly fine. you know what bam? you were the best :) as always you are.

Its okay there may not be another BamNuy789, but there will always be there deep down inside our mind&heart. I know you will find a better girl than me i guaranteed that. as much as it hurts seeing you go but now its my turn  to letting you go. you're a free bird now. you know i will always be there for you, i'm always here waiting and watching you. i know you're gonna be okay, you're a big boy.

i cant expect things to be last, the things that happening between us makes me realize. nothing last. I'm watching us fall apart quickly, i didn't want this you know that. i'm sorry i made you loose my trust in me, i don't know what else to say, but i know it's all my mistake. i'm enough being a child, it's time for me to grow up. i need to pursue things that i want to achieve. i know i ain't good for you.

Nothing feel the same anymore between us, i do miss that. what else can i do bam? there's nothing left i can do. i was a loser being a sluty whore bitch and you were this awesome guy. i will never forget things that happened between us, like when the day we met at 7 grade. The way we fight about things that shouldn't be fighting about until we started to makin deket and talks aku/kamu for the first time, and the time where you used to say " aku mau kamu deh" and the time where satya told you that i have this massive crush on you, and when we watched movie etc. and of course when 6 August 2009 yes that night was magical too bad i fall a sleep-_- and 7 August fairytale. I do love everything,i do! when i'm with you, yes it was fun magical adventurous never dull at all. yes you're the one who makes me like i'm the most happiest girl in the entire world.

You're better off without me, i'm nothing to you. i'm just the one who nyusahin. its okay bam, i'm going to leave you alone. i'm sure i'm gonna terribly miss you a lot. but this is what you want right? me basically out of your life? right? oh well if this is what you want, your wish is my command alligator.

Haha funny bam i remember how you used to be jealous, you know what jealousy meanings right? fear of loosing someone. honey, you make me jealous all the time. insecurity of not being able to have any contact with you. i'm totally lonely without you, yes you always been that person who accompany me.  ibam i wish i could fix your heart and gained your trust back, but anyway have a good life my dear ibam.

ohyeah i have this one wish for you.... be a good boy please. and stay away from smokes, etc. i know about you and your health thingy, and please don't do anything stupid that you might regret. and listen to your heart, and your secret about your sister&brother safe with me don't worry :) and ..... i wish for you full of happiness and joy even that happiness wasn't with me but with her. its okay as long as you're happy. and please stop doing bad things that effecting your health condition. i can live without you but i was a better person when you're around.

You inspire me, you're my role model bam i look up to you. i learn so much from you, and you were an awesome boyfriend and awesome friend. i know, i'm used to called you one of my best friend, but its kinda useless because... well you don't except that. but you're and always be. friendship are lasts longer than relationship. i'm used to talk to you about everything now i can't but thats okay. you will never be happy when you're with me, beside you already have her and we keep on going round and round its like a never ending battle we always end up to that road again, i just cant do it anymore even as much as i love you i'm just to weak to fight with this battle. i admit i'm not strong, i'm building this wall around me so nobody can hurt. i'm trying to be numb,you don't need me anymore and well... i'm happy for you. that's all i can say, let's move on and forget everything okay. started over if its possible, and bye ibam. i will be leaving soon i hope so. and your gonna be happy i know you will. yes you mr. okay byeee :* :* :* BIGGGG HUGSSS FOR YOUUUUU

be a good boy okay my love? take care my darling my handsome alligator my little oliver sykes my rocker♥

LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALLIGATOR 

Ariel

So, i'm not a disney girl whatsoever is that. but i do love princess ariel a lot, but i also like princess Aurora. anyway, why i love ariel because i think the stories is very very romantic and cool. because ariel was forbidden to go to surface, but her heart madly in love with prince Eric. so she's follow her heart and became a human, even after her father ( king Triton) yelling at her she doesn't have any option so she go to Ursula and ask her to change her to human. but she only has 3 days. When Triton know that Ariel go to the sea witch, he's get worried. but At the end after all the drama and the fighting, Triton realize that Ariel is really really love Eric. and so does Eric. so he let Ariel lives in the surface with Eric.

Pretty Little Liars Book : Killers

this book is .... fun. i love this series a lot because it full of drama and the story is about finding Ali killer and the disappearing Ian. And also the old A is dead but there's a new A. This book is a must must to be read. believe me its quite fun reading this. 

Heartbreak.... everything feels like breaking

Dear My Alligator

Since last night i can't stop thinking about that things that you said.... yes it hurts so badly but it make it all clear now that i can't never ever have you back. i do love you a lot. Oh yeah, i forgot mmm i'm very very very sorry that i hit you this earlier today, i didn't meant to.. today i was not being my self. i never hit something until all my urat in my hand kerasa. you hurt me so bad last night honey.

I want to make it better for us, for our friendship. i do all this things just to saves our friendship that meant a world to me. hey, i care about you very very very much. i know i always screw up with you. c'mon have a little faith a bit bam. I know we can make this things better but why you complicated things that shouldnt be complicated?

seriously i dont know what else to say im guilty indeed. bye love you always ♡

abcdefgh

i dont know i have this weird thing, if in the future i will have a son i will name him Muhammad Xavier *the last name still unknown because i would like to take my husband name for my son. and his nick name is Xavier. i know xavier meanings is kinda weird. but it feels like .... a strong manly name. isn't that weird i'm still at 10 grade and already thinking about baby names ..-_-. other than Xavier i would like to named it Killian or Aidan.

If i have baby girl, i would like to name her abigail. and i would like to compromise between abigail and shafiyyah, so it would be like Shafiyyah Abigail *putting my husband last named. and her nick name would be Abbey. in the future i would like to have at least 3 children and maximum is 5 children. And beside Abigail, i would like to named it Hazel, Adara or Ailia

changes

i don't know what happen between us... but i know it's changing. ew i dislike you now. thankgod i still care about you, if i wasn't care about you. i would smack you ....... haha no kidding. i will yeah i will leave you. i know you don't need me anymore ... well oh well don't care that much anymore. hahah i don't care mydear if you like that boy or that one i don't care. but don't do it behind my back, i'm not dumb i know things okay. hahahaah funny, if i put it this way its funny. damn i'm laughing.

giraffe

this is giraffe(Giraffa camelopardalis) its an african long tall mammals, the tallest land-living animals . even giraffe leg it self is taller than human, giraffe leg is 6 feet. Giraffe can run as fast as 35 miles. giraffe used their height to eat in the tall trees. giraffe tongue is 21 cm. most of the time giraffe eats, and a week they need hundred of pounds of leaves. giraffe long neck can also be used as a look out for their predators. 

alone

do you know what i hate the most about school? ...... i feel left out a lot. since katasha gone i dont have my partner in crime, mygod i miss you katasha. uuugh school this days sucks, when it was time to go home... my heart was glad. thank god satya's alva the other makes me a little bit comfortable at school. i miss the old avenue7! HOHOHOHOHO i hate my life hate it hate it.

i hate my life 

i hate my life

i hate my life

i hate my life 

i hate my life 

cycle

effected of broken damn motherfucker heart :) 

she was wondering if the boy searching for her to get back 

she was wondering if she could get back together and hugged him tightly again 

he was standing cold and doesn't give a damn about the girl that waiting for him all along 

she's stood there waiting for him to come back 

Prince charming

Prince charming what a word that completely describe you 

you're my prince charming because .......

• you're the one who run and look for me when you know i was going to fight with satya's 
• you hugged me so tight and let me cry in your hugged after you find me 
• it was raining.. you told me not to closed to the rain because i might get cold 
• i was falling down the stairs and when you know it was me, you come and run and help me stand up 
• i almost fatigue, i'm wearing your TopShop grey hoods i was falling in front of teacher room and katasha panic think that i was fatigue. you come and help me go to nurse station. 

your heroic action ...... sexy. mygod i was shock especially when the satya's problem. you know i was crying, i was looking for satya's with katasha. and you come and after me with your dear friend hafizh. 

i would never ever forget the day you let me cry in your hugged. 

i can't let you go

Dear my lovely alligator,

sorry to say that i can't move on. i did tried but you keep on coming back to me. The  reason that i couldn't let you go is simply because of i cant let go things that we've shared for the last 4 years from the day we meet until the day that you leave me (14/april/2010).

Being with you it's like an adventure that makes everyday difference from the others days. the way you treat me, it convince me that i was good enough for someone.... i guess i was wrong because you know, i will never be good enough for you or anyone else. your like the sun and the moon, keeps me up at night and wakes me up in the morning.

You makes me feel like i'm a princess you treat me perfectly, you care about me so much... but i was too stupid to realize that all i do is hurting you. And day by day without you it hurts so bad, i never could imagine how would i survive without you completely.

There are days where i wish that i could spend a whole day with you. if i have time machine i would paused the day that my hand stroke your cheek at your car because i miss the look of your face when you used to look at me. Your hugged your hugged your warm and gentle hug, i never have a boyfriend that hugged me so tight and so warm, being in your arms feel so right. I never meant to hurts you, you were the last person that i would like to see to suffer. i love you unconditionally. you know what i miss about you? is you sense of caring for me and your smile and of course the way you look at me. Your goodbye .... painful, but theres nothing i can say anymore because it was too late to fix everything and become what we used to be. one thing for sure.. i know you will never coming back to me, the only thing i need to do is let you go and wish you all the best for your life and your happiness.

Your life seems brighter when i was out of your life, i see the smile of you these days but it feels like i don't know you anymore, because it isn't the smile i see when the first i saw you. the boy who wearing a shirt ( i think blue shirt) and jeans, first time that i saw you it was inside a classroom where the parents and the children gather to see a presentation. My love for you was real i wasn't fake any singles thing when i'm with you.

The memories i spend with you was internally important to me, every minutes every second  i spend with you ... i was bless. i know i will never find someone as good as you, but if destiny tell us to be together someday i will be grateful, if we does belong together and this is the way that god wants us to be right now then i'm fine with that because someday we will be together again as one. but if it tells difference that i was glad that you were mine back then.

You know, you were the only boy who see the real me. the one that i really trust. I know things are different now, i don't want to force you anymore to be with me, but if if only you would give me a second chance and openminded and see me with both eyes ....... i will be so thankful.

Oh ibam, my ibrahim arimurti rashad i love you so much. i didn't planned any of this things, i didn't want to hurt you. i wasn't meant to hurt you... i was only trying to be someone that you want me to be but i guess i was wrong. Loosing you were a nightmare for me, i miss the boy that i meet way back then and the boy that was being at 7 august 2009. The one who has a real smiles.

I don't regret anything that spend my time with you... it's all worth it. being with you wasn't dull at all, it was fun and adventurous. The way we talk, laugh, walks,hugged, holding hands .....priceless. you know how much you meant to me.... more than anything that you could imagine. i'm not exaggerating, i don't care what anyone tell or think about any of this, they just some shit that messing with your mind. You were more like a teacher to me, you teach me about life .... that's big bam.  i want to learn so much with you... but then you left and leave me here alone. every night everyday that i go through without you seems like waste-less i don't feel the same person when i was with you.

I know your face, your smile, your eyes, your cheek, your lips, your hands ..... you were perfect for me. i wish that you would listen to your heart more. if you did you will understand me, when you told me " even if you are so fuckin far away your heart will always be my fuckin mine. i love you" when you told the part of "your heart will always be my fuckin mine" its like cursing me because my heart does belong to you. Your heart belong to ..... no one else. i wish your heart was belong to mine again. it seems like i cant think of anyone else except you. i wasn't asking too much but the only thing i ask from you is would you stay? and grow up together with me? is it too much to ask bam?

I'm not asking you to build a house for me or to build a castle... i'm asking can i have your heart back. i know if were back together things gonna be difference, it gonna be the way it should be. only me and you... us 789 :')

but the things say differently ... the fact is we cant get back together and one thing for sure would you promise me to not forget about us? would you promise me that? and please dont forget anything about me and how we used to be, i wish you the best always and i hope you can find a better girl that way way way better than me.

i love you so much alligator

you + me : Love 

i Love you 

all the cute things you do simply tickle my heart 

Perfect guy

Perfect Guy

by : Tabitha Houghton-Smith

I thought I found the perfect guy,

one that knew how to treat me right.

But I forgot to hold on,

and now he’s gone.

I should have pushed harder for it to work,

but I didn’t and now I’m hurt.

I can’t remove his picture from my mind

I think about him all the time.

He meant everything to me,

and now we can’t be

I ruined it all,

I say as I slowly fall.

I miss the way it was with him,

and now the lights starting to dim.

Everything inside is dead.

I can’t get him out of my head.

I need him to survive.

He makes me feel so alive.

He has my everything,

and without him it’s just not the same.

When he told me good-bye,

all I could think of is why.

I hate having to act like it’s alright,

especially when all I do is cry at night.

I hate dwelling on my past,

and sitting here wondering why it didn’t last.

I wish I could be with him right now,

I should get over him but I can’t learn how.

I think about how it used to be and I smile.

I hoped he planed on staying a while,

but he left me alone and helpless,

and he knows it’s him I will miss.

Source: Perfect Guy, Break Up Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/teen_love/poetry.asp?poem=21106#ixzz0sM1aSbux

i found this poems and you know what did i do when i read it? cry ... yes cry and cry. oh bam i miss you so much :( 

role model

this is Miranda kerr, young australian victoria's secret model. she is my role model because she has this real girl attitude and things that make her special in difference way

this is Oliver Sykes, as you see i'm totally in love with him and obsessed with him. he's my role model because of he's not afraid to be different than other typical boys. as you see he has many tattoos *cover by his shirt